I thought that I’d share Vicky’s story with you, hope you find it interesting.
Vicky (not her real name) asked to work with me because she was feeling stuck and just couldn’t see a way out of the life that she was living unless she made drastic changes, which she felt would seriously rock the boat for her and her family.
She explained that her head was in a constant whirl as she tried to work out what to do. The answers just weren’t coming and she was beginning to worry that she was going mad.
She explained that, from the minute she woke up until she fell exhausted into bed she felt scared and panicky as she wrestled with a whole lot of problems, desperately searching for solutions.
Now, I could see that Vicky was caught up in a thought storm, and that that storm was having an exhausting effect on her in all sorts of ways. I also knew that she was absolutely fine, that the storm would dissipate and that she would become clear headed and know exactly what to do, or not to do!
For a fleeting second it seemed like a good idea to tell Vicky that, but then I ‘knew’ not to and instead I asked her to just tell me what was going on.
(Now sometimes I would go straight into an explanation about thought storms and clear heads etc but this time it just felt wrong, in that moment anyway.)
So, Vicky went for it. In a big way. She spewed out all of her worries, disappointments, fears, anxieties and nightmares. She argued with herself in front of me and seemed to become more and more wound up.
A couple of times I started to feel uncomfortable and almost interrupted, but I knew deep down that this was an important part of her healing.
I also knew that my wanting her to stop was because I was feeling uncomfortable and I didn’t like the feeling! I managed to stop making it about me and just kept listening.
When I say that I was listening I realise that I wasn’t so much listening to her words as listening to the feelings that were behind the words, and this became fascinating!
I started to feel in awe of the energy that was coursing through Vicky as she rode the roller coaster of thoughts and feelings. If you have ever stood on a beach watching a storm doing it’s thing out to sea then you’ll know what I’m describing!
After about twenty minutes, and very suddenly, Vicky’s thought storm stopped. Apart from the odd flicker of residual thoughts playing out across her face, Vicky looked calm, relaxed and even energised!
I knew to say nothing.
Vicky then looked at me, and said in a crystal clear voice; “Blimey, what was all that about?”
We both burst out laughing.
I knew that Vicky was now ready to hear what I had to say so I started to explain about thought storms, why she had been feeling the way she was feeling, how we experience life and all that jazz!
She was in such a receptive state that she really seemed to be hearing what I was saying and I could actually feel the change of energy in the room – peaceful and healing as well as electric and vibrant.
After a few minutes Vicky took a deep breath and said; “This all makes complete sense! I can see that I’ve been making a mountain out of a molehill, I don’t know why I was getting so stressed! Everything is just fine really, isn’t it! I know that there might be a few adjustments to be made in my life but that’s totally normal and I can handle that”.
I asked Vicky to tell me what was making sense to her and she said the following (luckily we had recorded the session because what she said was really good!)
“I can feel that this that I’m feeling right now is the ‘real me’ but I’ve been thinking that I was a different person. I’ve been thinking that I was rubbish at everything, that my life was awful and no one understood what I was going through. I can see now that I was stuck in a nightmare so no wonder I was feeling so bad! I feel like the real me is back now and life is actually pretty good!”
Before Vicky left we talked some more about the nature of life, in particular the inevitable ups and downs and the fact that we will experience everything via our thought in each moment.
As Vicky said; “I can see that I will very probably feel rubbish again sometimes but I reckon it won’t be so bad because I’m less likely to get stuck in it and believe that that’s the real me. I’ve met the real me now and I know that I can handle anything!”
Over the next few months Vicky naturally continued to experience thought storms, although she described them as gusts rather than storms, and even little puffs! The storms lasted for minutes or hours rather than days or weeks as they had before!
We spent our sessions letting the conversations flow, exploring the human experience, seeing where she might be getting stuck in a blind spot of thoughts and then marvelling at how a simple understanding of how the system works can literally change lives.
Lots of love and as always feel free to get in touch.
“Helping people to make sense of Life!”
nb – Interestingly, this blog started with me wanting to write about feeling inactive and unproductive, that’ll need to be for another time now. Or not.